Things that annoy Ash v.2

-All HR departments I’ve ever had to deal with
-Paperwork/Bureaucracy
-The drop-rate on Quetzalcoatl
-Uncomfortable shoes
-The color pink
-The verb “a incropi” (God, that gives me the heebie-jeebies)
-Videos disappearing from my YouTube playlists
-Commercials at the start of every video on Youtube and needing to get a Firefox addon for that
-Overly nice people
-Nosy people
-People trying to force their beliefs on you
-Brownnosers
-People walking slowly on the subway platform in front of me and no room to get past them
-Crowded places
-Politics
-Things that aren’t straight or aligned
-Even numbers
-Models
-Duckface selfies
-Pitzipoance
-Chavs
-Spam (No, I don’t need a goddamn penis enlargement, my junk is of epic proportions and one cannot ignore its girth)

Things that annoy Ash

– Passive-aggressiveness
– Invasion of personal space
– Being made curious about something and then being told “nevermind”.
– Talking on the phone for longer than 3 minutes
– Being asked when I’m planning to get married and/or have kids
– Small yappy dogs
– Request timed out replies from my DNS server
– RNG in anything game related
– Shooters
– Football
– Temperatures above 30 degrees Celsius
– Hollidays
– Shows i like being cancelled
– People getting pissed off when I’m not in the mood to chat
– People getting pissed off when I’m not in the mood to go out
– People talking too much about stuff I couldn’t possibly find interesting or care about
– People trying to guilt me into hanging out with them
– People

 

 

Bucket list v 1.1

Add-ons to the vanilla version:

– Know enough about being human to write a “Guide to Intimacy”, complete with step-by-step interacting, setting boundaries (and knowing when to keep or throw them the fuck away), filtering;

– Have the capacity to zoom out instantly when i need to. I still get stuck in details sometimes;

– Get a tattoo

– Win the lottery

– Have a proper 3some

– Take a walk to sniff tea trees EVERY day during their season

 

Dupa mine, potopul

Obisnuiesc sa ma trezesc pe partea care nu trebuie a sexului feminin. Uit sa fiu delicata si sensibila, sa tin atat de mult la silueta mea incat sa refuz o “Diana” de la cofetaria Alice, sa fiu obsedata de manichiura, sa nu injur ca un birjar, sa-mi placa la nebunie chestiile care stralucesc, sa plang la o comedie romantica, sa raspund pasiv-agresiv cu “nimic.” atunci cand sunt intrebata “ce ai?” si alte trasaturi des intalnite la noi, posesoarele de tits.

Skin of the night

My skin is sore. I’ve listened to this for hours. The series of random choices on teh intarwebz that led me to it is part of the feeling it gives me. I’ve been shattered and put together on repeat. I’m a masochist.

I am

I steal from the unaware. I take ideas and wrap them in my own fabric and, thus, call them my own. I have a gift for plagiarizing and recycling, for reinventing everything that has already been invented. I don’t own an identity, I steal it. I don’t have my own belief system. I mold myself into anything and everything. I’m shapeless, without substance. I’m a shell, I am hollow. I’m a chameleon. I am air. I adapt perfectly everywhere and anywhere. I’m everyone’s next best thing and nobody’s THE. I feed on life force, on minds, on souls, on substance, on individuality and I’m constantly hungry. I am life force, mind, soul, substance, individuality and I’m constantly a source of food. I’m an unfathomable parasite for every being I come in contact with. I’ve survived all attempts of eradication by clinging on to my host(s) and merging with them so intricately, they would’ve had to be destroyed along with me. I give in the same amount I receive, sometimes I give in advance for what I’m about to take. I’m incapable of choosing a permanent form. I dream, I think, I eat, I drink, I feel, I sense, I act without being able to grasp any result. I am selfish. I am human. I’m an idea. I’m a thought. I’m immortal. I am.

Back

I just want back in my head.

It’s been a little over two days since i’ve last had contact with the usual dimension. My trips into zoning out are usually much shorter. I don’t know what’s fueling this one and how long it will be ’til the resource is exhausted, but i think i need a jolt or something. There’s a constant sensation of being in a dream where everything happens without me being able to interact with or alter the course of anything. I’m a spectator inside my days, nights, minutes, sounds, words, people.

When i get a little

run run run, run. Run, run, run.

Come on, breathe in or out in my direction so i can sway one way or another off this uni-dimensional (and infinite) line.